Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
