i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
