Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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