oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
