So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
