I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
