I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
