Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
