Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
