He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
youre lurking in front of me
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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