Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Drunk is not a location!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
