Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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