My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
