Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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