The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
