Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Randomize
