so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize