dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
