Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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