had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
