he puts the penis in happiness.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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