no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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