no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
