White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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