I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
