Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
