no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
