I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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