doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
