So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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