theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
