I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
this beer tastes like vomit already
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
