Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
