I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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