Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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