Who wears a wallet chain?!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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