You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
