what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
