i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
