The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
