508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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