Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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