I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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