apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
