My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
