That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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