dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
