You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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