I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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