Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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