So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
