I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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