Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
