also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
