You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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