PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
wakey wakey hands off snakey
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
