Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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