i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize