Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
