He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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