pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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