my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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