All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
