I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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