Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
